(SATIRE) AOC Exhausted After Extensive Ben Shapiro Debate
Updated: Oct 15, 2019
Enjoy the newest Morning Watch series by Thomas West covering politics through satire.
Author: Thomas West
The wait is over. To those not up to speed, in late 2018 The Daily Wire’s Ben Shapiro
extended an invitation to the newly elected New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to converse or debate on his show.
He additionally offered $10,000 to her campaign or to the charity of her choice as an incentive. Afraid, she backed down in fear of his infallible logic. Her excuse was a likening of his offer to “catcalling,” and labeling Shapiro to a sexist.
Yesterday the invitation was finally accepted. Ocasio-Cortez demanded a lump
sum of one million dollars in dark money be funneled to her campaign funds as collateral. The debate was aired on Flox news, an MSNBC parody of a Washington Post parody of CNN’s Fox News parody.
Airing for a haughty 29 seconds (one for each year of Ocasio-Cortez’s experience), the minutes of the debate were as follows:
1. [intro music light, fade in, studio backdrop, close up Ben]
2. [Ben] “Good evening and wel-”
3. [AOC hiding behind podium, camera pans away]
4. [Camera cuts out and goes to commercial]
MSNBC, the obviously truthful and non-authoritarian propaganda media network,
immediately took down the live stream and broadcast and burned the studio down to leave no evidence. A few tapes are rumored to still be scattered around. AOC has not been found yet for comment.
Shapiro commented after the extensive and exhausting debate,“I simply told her a minute before the show I would start by asking how she plans to pay for the Green New Deal. This would help her plan an answer. I didn’t think she would duck the answer like most politicians. I thought she would come up with a crazy lie backed by falsified studies. Although, she did do better than I expected.”
The Ocasio-Cortez campaign commented this morning that the money would not be
given back to Shapiro or The Daily Wire, as it is already tied up in donations to Hamas.
Contributor: Thomas West